by 
Ever since we crossed into the Pacific out of the San Juan Strait the stormy seas have continuously rocked, rolled, and tossed the R/V Thompson. Everyone on board has been supportive of those who have felt the effects of what seemingly feels like a bath toy handled by a toddler. I have been lucky to have avoided the worst effects. Thus far faculty mentors continually embraced the diverse backgrounds and experiences of the 2YC faculty who have joined me on this expedition.
Following two days out at sea is a reasonable amount of time to ask, “Why did I come out to sea, again? What am I doing here?” The answer to the second question is easy. I’m doing what any STEMSEAS student would be doing – experiencing oceanography first hand (again). After a busy morning, many of us embraced the afternoon sun in a moment of respite, relief, and relaxation despite the 8-10 ft. seas. Then, I quickly remembered why I had come out to sea again.
Although I have been out to sea before, the last time was nearly 20 years ago. In some ways, going to sea was time away like a vacation, but in other ways it could be stressful. I recall the anxious feeling of being reduced to email communication with the shore for 1-2 weeks. I recall the urgency of collecting and filtering as many water samples as possible while trying to fit in sleep between sampling stations. The beginning of this trip was not much different, instead Whats App would replace emails and the anxiety came from not quite knowing what to expect during the expedition.
But I also remember the liberating feeling of being in the ocean, seeing water every which way you look. Feeling the passing swell as it made its way toward my favorite surf break. I can now distinctly remember those times when I could feel like I was making a contribution to oceanography through my research. Being back at sea gives me an incredible feeling of scale – the size of the waves, the size of the ship, the vast ocean as far as one can see and beyond. Just as in previous cruises, I found these times to reflect on my ‘Why?’
There were numerous periods in graduate school where I felt I didn’t belong, including several occasions during research cruises. During these moments, I had to remind myself that a lot of people believed in what I could accomplish. The support of my family, friends, and colleagues buoyed me through some stormy seas.
This is why I am out to sea again. Already I feel confident about my contributions to the STEMSEAS program: to provide all students the opportunity to experience oceanography in a unique and supportive setting.
I want all the students to feel like they belong to a community, especially within the STEM community.
-Roman de Jesus, Fullerton College
